Nicole vs. Life
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
