if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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