I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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