my mouth tastes like poor choices
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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