I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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