If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
