i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
