period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
