I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
