I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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