The best revenge is premature balding
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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