wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
