Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
