dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
