Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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