yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize