thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
