I think i peed on brittanys purse
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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