she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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