I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
