last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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