no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
