So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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