But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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