Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
