Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
