You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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