but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
