Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
