I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
