If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
