last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
