The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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