Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
