Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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