in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
