But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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