Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
