My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize