I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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