She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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