apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
