idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
