Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
