My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
