D3 body, D1 cock
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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