Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
