haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
