Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
