Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Houston, we have a squirter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
