talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
