I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
