She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
