The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
