it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize