y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
