She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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