can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
