I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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