I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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