Do you still have your period?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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