Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize