i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
