Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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