dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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