if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
vagina is talking i cant
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
