oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
