I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize