Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
