Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
