While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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