Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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