I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
