so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize