I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
