ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
