Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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