i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
