It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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