I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
