Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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