She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
