At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need water and some morals
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
